Mothers, money, men, murder, mental duress, malicious mayhem, marijuana, military madness, mental illness, mean spirited people, music, morons, mistakes, menstruation, mania, metamorphosis, mangoes (yum), minstrels, ministers, MD’s, moral majority, misinformed “minority”, modern, mogul, (un) married, morning, mourning, magnet, and mortality.
Okay. Enough already. The “M” word I originally set out to write about was m-u-r-d-e-r.
Yesterday I took my daughter to the park, and as I sat and made small talk with two other Mothers, we somehow began a conversation about murder. Eerily, all three of us have been touched by that particularly nasty “M” word. One Mother lost her Father to murder and then 4 years, (almost to the date of her Father’s murder), her 20 year old son was also murdered, thrown in a Connecticut landfill, and his murderer was never found. The second Mother lost her 18 year old daughter and only child when she was brutally beaten by a group of unfortunately homeless teens (that she had previously volunteered and helped), was dropped on her head from a viaduct, left in a coma and brain dead…AND, she was 5 months pregnant. The miraculous birth (of the baby which was growing inside of her at the time of her attack), was born a month later while she laid in the bed in a coma and on life support equipment. Her tragedy made national headline news. (I remembered reading the story as she told us about it and as we watched her “miracle” grandson play with my miracle daughter). I could also personally relate to these 2 Mothers because several years ago, a very dear family member was kidnapped, tortured, hit in his young (24 year old) throat with a tech 9 semi-automatic gun (with a blunt force hard enough to have shattered his voice box), AND THEN, was shot 5 times…twice in the head and at least one bullet piercing his heart…by a 17 year old b-o-y!
Now I remember how our conversation began!
The other Mothers and I got to talking about murder when I brought up a news story I had read earlier in the day about a 17 year old young woman being strangled to death by her 17 year old “boyfriend” and was helped to conceal his crime by his 14 year old accomplice. I guess the fact that this young lady’s murderer was the same age as the 17 year old (young) b-o-y that murdered my cousin must have given me a gruesome flash back.
Before leaving the park, the three of us, Mothers who have experienced the heinous experience of the violent loss of life of a child (or loved one), hugged each other, and bid each other comfort and strength in dealing with our pains.
Since then, I’ve had trouble sleeping.
I know it is said that all of us are only separated by 6 degrees, but my goodness, if there were three of us there in the park (who just by chance) shared the similar experience of the murder of a loved one, how many more people are there out there dealing with the same pains and reality? Even more manic is the thought as to how many have lost loved ones to murders committed by teens (young people who are technically still children)?
Where are we as a society missing the point? Why are our children turning on us and each other? What can we do, as a community of people (regardless of the communities we should happen to live in, regardless of color, creed, religion or belief)?
Who can we turn to in order to help and to heal our shared pains and losses and to develop and empower and foster and nurture in our children, love and help not hate and hurt?
Each other. Period. We must start to openly and honestly talk to one another about the challenges we face in our respective lives. I’m certain we will be surprised to find out just how many of us share similar realities in life.
…as for all those other “M” words…
…they wane in comparison of importance, and somehow possess a little less significance, (in the grander scheme of things), unless of course you are a Mother (or Father), and know both the pain (pleasure) of child birth and the pain (pity=shame) of child loss…especially to such a nasty “M” word.
Tell me. What do you think?
Peace, Love, and Prosperity,
Yolanda J. Ash
While I have not experienced the direct effect of a murdered friend or family member, I certainly know of the lasting scars left by the tragic act. I am fascinated by the clarity and flow of the words in your approach to such a hurtful, fearful and senseless word that begins with …”m”. Continue writing, I would love to read more.
Your Uncle,
CT Taylor
Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts. I know that often we get so caught up in the things and realities of our own lives that we forget that those around us most often have similar experiences, hurts, challenges, dreams, goals and desires as we do ourselves. I started this blog as a means of honestly connecting with others (and hopefully encouraging others to connect to each other). I know all to well what it feels like to be disconnected and on the outside of things. Blessedly though, I also know how wonderful it feels to be connected to folks who love and listen to me and support me through all my endeavors in life. I believe that even when we drop the ball in this game called life, as long as we make recovers, it’s all good. Each of us has something to help someone else in life. The question though is, “What does that matter if we don’t genuinely share those gifts and talents with others”? Unc, the information and resources you make available through your site Your Daily Dose is a prime example of how a simple gesture of reaching out can really touch and change others…for the better. Thanks for stopping by my site. Visit often and let other know about what I’m trying to do…I will do the same for you.
Peace, Love & Prosperity,